He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Randomize
