he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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