Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize