Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
