three words: i give head
three words: not that well
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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