We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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