I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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