I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
