so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
