I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
