Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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