Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
