i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
