Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize