i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
