he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
