i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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