So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
