i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
two words: eviction party
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
