dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
