whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
