I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
