I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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