Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
