Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
