so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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