through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I smell like Dick and happiness
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
