do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize