break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize