You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
