Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
