Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize