Kiss
Puke
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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