Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
