Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
