your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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