i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
