this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
