we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
