She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
