So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
