So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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