I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
