Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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