well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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