people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
