Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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