i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i out mim tonsoeep
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
