And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
high people should be assigned attendants
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize