we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize