I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
