your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Randomize
