problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
