i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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